Beyond EQ: What Coaches Miss About Player Performance

Remember when Blockbuster executives laughed off Netflix?

They saw streaming as a passing fad, doubling down on brick-and-mortar stores, late fees, and shelves of physical tapes. 

We all know how that ended.

Something similar is happening in the assessment world right now, and it’s not a good look. 

Recently, a major player in our space sent their clients a new “Generative AI Policy.” (a portion of it can be seen here) On the surface, it talks about privacy and intellectual property. But read closely, and you see the real message: don’t use AI, don’t even describe our system to modern tools like ChatGPT or Gemini, and only trust what we tell you.

It’s not about protecting privacy. It’s about protecting exclusivity and control.

The Old Guard’s Playbook

For decades, traditional assessment companies have run the same playbook:

• Lock insights behind expensive consultants
• Make reports so complex that only “certified experts” can interpret them
• Create dependency through restricted access to information
• Charge premium fees for basic guidance that should be readily available

This worked for a long time … until AI came along and changed what’s possible.

Now, instead of adapting, they’re doubling down with restrictive policies. It’s like telling customers to keep renting VHS tapes because DVDs are “unreliable” and streaming is “too risky.”

The Real Threat Isn’t AI, It’s Transparency

What legacy companies truly fear isn’t AI itself. It’s what AI enables:

• Transparency
• Accessibility
• Empowered decision-making

When clients can instantly understand their own assessment data and get objective, real-time guidance, the artificial scarcity model collapses.

Imagine investing thousands of dollars in assessments and consulting fees, only to be told you can’t even discuss your own results with the tools your company uses every day to make smarter decisions.

That’s like buying a movie ticket and then being told you’re not allowed to talk about the plot when you get home.

Their Advisors Deserve Better

I genuinely feel for the advisors/consultants caught in the middle of this.

These are smart, strategic professionals who want to serve executives hungry for innovation. But they’re being forced to deliver an outdated message:

“Trust us! But definitely don’t trust the tools that could make you smarter and more efficient.”

It’s a tough sell when their clients are being pushed forward by AI everywhere else in their businesses.

A Different Way Forward

At Aptive Index, we’ve taken the opposite approach. We believe that when leaders understand their people better, everyone wins. That means open, transparent insights, not gatekeeping.

Our AI platform, Aria Chat, blends speed and scale with human judgment. In just the two weeks prior to this post, Aria 2.0 (the newest iteration of our AI) powered over 15 million tokens of usage! Real-world conversations, insights, and strategic guidance flowing to executives and consultants in real time.

And while AI is powerful, it’s not about replacing the human element. It’s about amplifying it. The best decisions happen when technology and people work together.

While legacy companies remain stale, forward-thinking organizations are moving the other direction and leaning into AI to empower leaders and teams like never before.

How Smart Organizations Are Using Aria Chat Today

(And Why Legacy Systems Can’t Compete)

Our clients aren’t just talking about AI, they’re using it to transform how they hire, lead, and build thriving teams.

Here are some of the most powerful (and sometimes surprising) ways they’re leveraging Aria Chat, our AI-powered leadership and people strategy platform:

💼 Better Hiring Decisions – Stop relying on gut instinct.
Aria analyzes assessment data to reveal where candidates will naturally thrive or struggle helping avoid costly hiring decisions.

📝 Personalized Interview Guides – Never ask another generic interview question. Generate custom behavioral interview questions tailored to the role, the team, and the individual candidate. 

🤝 Team Building – Build teams with clarity, not guesswork.
See exactly where your team is naturally strong and where critical gaps exist so you can assemble balanced, high-performing groups from day one.

⚡ Fix Dysfunction Fast – Don’t let conflicts drag on.
When two people clash, Aria pinpoints the why behind the tension and gives you step-by-step guidance to repair trust and collaboration quickly.

🎯 Coaching Employees at Scale – Real-time leadership insights.
Leaders use Aria to create personalized coaching plans that match each person’s hardwiring, helping them grow without a one-size-fits-all approach.

🪞 Conflict Resolution – Turn heated conversations into breakthroughs.
Aria guides managers through difficult discussions, providing scripts and strategies to keep conversations productive and outcomes clear.

❤️ Romantic Relationship Cheat Sheets – Yes, really.
Aria isn’t just for work. Some clients even use it to better understand their personal relationships – from marriages to dating – with insights into communication styles and conflict patterns beyond the office.

The Streaming Revolution Is Here

Every industry faces a choice: preserve the past or embrace the future.

Blockbuster clung to control. Netflix embraced accessibility.

In the assessment world, some companies are building walls while others are tearing them down. The future belongs to organizations that trust their clients and consultants with insight, rather than hoarding it behind artificial barriers.

Legacy companies can keep renting out their VHS tapes and threatening customers who ask about streaming.

But the future of assessments?

It’s already streaming – smarter, faster, and on demand.

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By afternoon, I discovered I had made a significant mistake. One that taught me a fundamental truth about trust in the workplace: it's not about what we do right, but about the expectations we don't even know we're failing to meet.

What Trust Really Means

At its simplest, trust is the belief that someone will meet your expectations. But here's what makes it complex: these expectations are often invisible, shaped by our natural drives and motivations that run far deeper than our conscious awareness.

When trust breaks down in professional relationships, it typically stems from misalignment in three key areas: character, competence, and compassion. Each person brings their own set of expectations to these components, often without realizing it.

The Three Components of Trust

Character: The Foundation

Character expectations form the bedrock of trust. While we often think of character as a universal standard - either someone has integrity or they don't - the reality is more nuanced. What one person considers a breach of integrity, another might view as practical flexibility. These differences in expectations about character and values can create invisible friction in teams.

Competence: Not Just About Being "Good"

Here's where expectations get particularly interesting. Consider this scenario from my own experience: I once had a team member deliver a project that met all our core requirements. They completed it ahead of schedule, hit all the major objectives, and felt proud of their work. Yet their manager was deeply disappointed. Why?

The manager had a natural drive for precision and detail. To them, competence meant thorough, meticulous work where every detail was perfect. The team member, however, was wired to prioritize speed and big-picture impact. Their definition of competence centered on rapid delivery of functional solutions.

Neither was wrong - they simply had different expectations about what "good work" meant. This misalignment eroded trust on both sides: the manager began to doubt the team member's capabilities, while the team member felt their contributions weren't valued.

Compassion: The Hidden Expectation

Remember Sarah? Her situation revealed something crucial about trust and compassion. By not asking about her weekend - something I wouldn't typically expect or need myself - I had inadvertently violated her expectation of leadership support and connection.

What makes this particularly challenging is that Sarah herself might not have consciously known she had this expectation until it went unmet. Her natural drive for social connection and personal acknowledgment meant that my standard "get down to business" approach felt like a betrayal of the supportive relationship she expected from leadership.

Building Better Trust Through Understanding

These stories highlight a crucial truth: trust isn't something that's simply earned through consistent good behavior. It's actively given when we meet others' expectations - expectations that are deeply rooted in their natural drives and motivations.

So how do we build better trust in our teams? Here are three key steps:

1. Recognize That Expectations Vary
   
   • Understand that different team members will have different expectations about what constitutes good character, competence, and compassion
   • Accept that these differences stem from natural drives, not personal shortcomings
2. Make Expectations Explicit
   
   • Create open dialogue about working preferences and expectations
   • Discuss what trust means to different team members
   • Define what success looks like from multiple perspectives
3. Adapt Your Approach
   
   • Adjust your leadership style based on individual team member needs
   • Build systems that accommodate different working styles
   • Create flexibility in how goals can be achieved

The Path Forward

‍Understanding these natural differences in trust expectations can transform how we build and maintain professional relationships. Instead of assuming everyone shares our definition of trustworthy behavior, we can create environments that acknowledge and respect different working styles and expectations.The key isn't to change who we are or force others to change - it's to understand these natural differences and build bridges across them. When we do this, we create stronger, more resilient teams where trust can flourish.

What if those advantages are deliberately more favorable than what's offered to those already at the top? What if we created entire systems designed to give extra support, resources, and opportunities to those who are behind?

If you felt a visceral "no" just now, I get it. Such suggestions often trigger immediate pushback about merit, fairness, and earning your way.

But what if I told you that some of America's most beloved and profitable institutions have been doing exactly this for decades? And not only do we accept it - we enthusiastically tune in every week to watch it work?

Welcome to the NFL draft.

Every year, we watch a system that deliberately advantages struggling teams. The Browns don't get told to "pull themselves up by their bootstraps." The Giants aren’t accused of cheating when they get early picks of top talent. Instead, we've built entire structures to ensure that those at the bottom get extra help, additional resources, and preferential access to new opportunities.

And here's the kicker: Look at the Kansas City Chiefs heading into Super Bowl 2025 this Sunday. Despite a system that deliberately gives advantages to struggling teams, the Chiefs are appearing in their fourth Super Bowl in five years. Having systematically lower draft picks hasn't destroyed their ability to excel. They've simply had to continue working hard and making the most of their opportunities - just like everyone else.

Giving advantages to those who are behind doesn't automatically diminish those at the top. The Chiefs aren't losing because other teams get better draft picks. Excellence, merit, and hard work still matter – we've just created a system that gives everyone a better shot at achieving them.

Why? Because we understand something fundamental about sports that we seem to struggle with in other contexts: Sometimes, helping those who are behind lifts up the entire game.

Now, let's be clear - the challenges faced by struggling NFL teams aren't directly comparable to the systemic barriers and historical disadvantages faced by marginalized communities in our society. Professional sports franchises worth billions aren't the same as generations of families who've been denied access to education, housing, or career advancement opportunities. The parallel isn't perfect.

But the principle illuminates something important about how we think about advantage and opportunity. If we can understand that giving struggling teams extra support makes the whole league stronger, why do we resist programs designed to give historically disadvantaged groups better access to opportunity? If we celebrate systematic advantage every Sunday, why do we question it on Monday morning?

I don't claim to have the perfect policy solutions for addressing generations of systemic inequality. These are complex challenges that require thoughtful, nuanced approaches. But what I do know is this: There are people and communities who need us, as a society, to create better pathways to opportunity - not handouts, but real chances to compete and excel. Just as we've done in sports, we can create systems that both maintain high standards and ensure everyone has a fair shot at meeting them.

The timing couldn't be more relevant. As we debate dismantling DEI programs in 2025, millions will gather this Sunday to watch our most profitable sports league showcase a system built on the principle that those with the longest distance to cover need extra support to compete. So perhaps before we rush to declare victory over "unfair" corporate DEI initiatives, we should ask ourselves: If we can cheer for equity on the field, why not in the workplace?